Brain killer (x_x)
The 7 things...

7 things that scare me:
*Operation (Once is more than enough)
*No money (I know money can't buy everything BUT without money, you can't buy anything)
*Aeroplane Crash (love to fly but this is certainly one thing I am scare of)
*Height (Nobody know I am afraid of height, I managed to cover it so well)
*Lonely (I maybe a lone ranger and kinda anti-social but I can't imagine myself "friendless")
*Rats (They look scary!! Don't you think so?)
*Quizes like this (Very stressful, have to think and think)

7 things I like the most about me:
*Easily Satisfied (Really!!)
*Knowledge (ermmm... Jack of all trades but master of none)
*Helpful (I'm a bit too helpful)
*Surprise giver (I am good in giving surprises)
*Planner (I like to plan a lot)
*Patient (I am really very very patient)
*Love to learn new stuff

7 things I hate the most about me:
*Shy (I am really shy)
*Indecisive (I hate making decision)
*Poor leadership (I hate to lead too)
*Emotion (I am very emotion)
*Poor Stress Management... (I am still learning to handle stress)
*Fragile heart (My heart break easily)
*Lazy (I am actually quite lazy at times)

7 most important things in my room:
*ME (If not it's not MY room)
*Aircon (I don't like cold place but neither do I like to sleep in HOT place)
*Bed (I don't like to sleep on floor)
*Pillow (Don't have how to sleep?)
*Blanket (As I said, I am scare of cold)
*Handphone (My handphone is forever by my side)
*Wardrobe (I don't usually throw my clothes on the floor)

7 random facts about me:
*My room is very messy (I love it that way)
*I hate to gamble (I don't like to lose money, I mean, who like?)
*I have a blood clot in my brain (but that's does not explain why I always faint)
*I love history, arts, music, literature, sciences, maths and almost anything la..
*I don't like to talk... (I may look talkative but I don't really like to talk)
*I went thru a hand operation... (everyone know that bah)
*I wanna marry before 25 or 26... (Family man, I said)

7 things I plan to do before I die:
*Have a family (I am a family man)
*Learn cycling (still have phobia)
*Design my own room
*Go Eygpt, South Africa and Israel (I love these places)
*Have children (I like kids)
*Own a dog (Ya, I already can't handle myself and I want a dog??)
*Learn fencing (I always wanted to learn that but lazy)

7 things I can't do:
*Lie
*Cycling (still phobia la....)
*Drive (ermmm... medically not cleared)
*Sleep on time
*Declare my love (I said I am shy le mah)
*Get close to girls except my gf, wife and mummy (I mean physical contact, I have natural rejection)
*Fly (WHO can fly??)

7 things I say the most:
*Sure or not?
*To be honest...
*ermmmmm....
*Up to you....
*anything la...
*Well...
*HAIZ.....

7 celeb crushes:
*Evelyn Tan
*Mei Ren Yu aka Mermaid (dunno what her name, she looked blur in the show)
*Ivy Lee
*Jennifer Aniston (she is such a babe)
*Audrey Hpeburn (I like her show... My Fair Lady)
*胡杏兒 (I dunno her english name, act as Ling Ling in Suvivor Law)
*蔡少芬 (lane, please advice me on her english name...)

7 people I'll love to see doing this:
*Valane
*Joce
*Lily
*Nina
*Fern
*Huishan
*Angeline

_ END _

OOO... Second Day of Chinese New Year... hmmm... have not being questioned about my status (marriage) and stuff... hahaha... lucky me... well... to be honest... of all the festivals, I don't really like Chinese New Year... gotta go to different relatives' place and sit down there like a statue... nothing to talk to them too... except for those close relatives.... to me CNY is just another holiday with a special nitez for me to go for "pancake" session at Chinatown... HAHAHA.... hmmm... I love the ang bao, of coz... hahahaha

today, went to big aunt's place... the "elders" were talking and talking again... then my big aunt mentioned that one of her daugther in law is pregnant again... in my mind, I was like..."You have 10 grandchildren, 1 more coming out?? alamak, pity my mummy and 2nd aunt and uncle"... hahahaha.... when I reached home with my 2nd aunt and uncle, (a trend, we will go to each other house to have a meal)... my aunt come to me and my cousion and said, "you 2 quickly get married to get big ang bao from your big aunt..." (meaning we each find our own wife and husband, not we both get married... hahahaha)... then my 2nd aunt went, "yayayaya.... married liao, muz fast fast bear a child, if not... next time very jialat... muz give so many ang baos"... then I said,"Ya, thanks, I'm not stupid lor... I married liao also muz contribute the 11 ang baos.... not worth it... HAHAHAHA"

陪你一起老

当爱不能同情 当爱不能哭 留在心里那一点点的恨 还真苦
没有人能作主 没有人服输 爱情的蛮横和残酷 无处申诉
谁不贪图 那多一点的在乎 想要爱又吃不了苦 就别欺负
虽然结束 也不要不甘不服 曾有过就要满足 要真的祝福
我只是难过不能陪你一起老 再也没有机会看到你的笑
记住你的好 却让痛苦更翻搅 回忆在心里绕啊绕 我多么的想逃
我只是难过不能陪你一起老 每天都能够看到你的笑
少了个依靠 伤心没人可以抱 眼泪擦都擦不掉 你知道
希望知道 我是真心的祝福 只要过得好 快乐就好

Happy Chinese New Year!!! I just reached home... ya... from Chinatown... YES, AGAIN... went there on an average of once every 2 days... it was terrrible... the crowd was like ermmm... dunno how to describe.... VERY BAD, VERY SQUEEZY....arhhh.... will upload the "video" when I am free ba... hahahaha....

I am always being push around... today is a GREAT example... kena "push" around... haiz.... I am such a poor thing... kekee....

This afternoon, I took 174 to Chinatown... yes AGAIN... nothing better to entertain myself... kekee... A XXX Secondary School boy sat beside so hard that I could feel that I'm "flying"... ya, despite my size... hahaha... he started to slouch on the seat and ZZZzzz… Well, I ignored him and continued to do my Sudoku… He started to lean towards me, initially, I thought he was interested to see what I am doing… peek at him, alamak… sleeping… So I sat closer to the window… he push further…ALMOST resting his entire weight on to me… I glued myself to the window and he pushed on… OMG… I shifted forward…. He still resting on me… HAIZ… since he is just a small boy, never mind la… then the bus jerked and he woke up and he quickly rushed down the bus… think he miss the stop… Serve him right for treating me a comfy pillow…

Well, what’s next? Another guy sat down and not long later he also started sleep and haiz… same things occurred AGAIN… BUT he’s worse… Opened the legs so wide, resting TOTALLY on me… Thanks arh! I finally felt annoyed gluing to the windows and tapped him on the shoulder, he woke and apologised… FINE… 2 minutes, there he go… there he go again… I was like, “Please sleep on the floor if u want”… Despite the jerky bus, he still managed to rest comfortably on me… IDIOT… finally he woke up and change seat…

Went John Little just now to buy thing… while queuing up to pay my stuff… this boy kept on pushing me… Every one step I took, he took 2 step… kept on pushing me… I was like arhhhh…. Why can’t the father do something? Never mind, I slanted to the side, he followed… haiz….

Perhaps I do make a great pillow…

I guess I completely flunk my interview... perhaps not in the mood ba... there is something very interesting during the interview... The fire alarm went off... hahaha... the pretty manager looked annoyed and started to scream for the safety officer to ask him, "False Alarm arh??" but returned to me and said, "I afraid u have to evacuate the building for the time being..." hahahaha.... Interesting interview encounter I have today...

"It is hard to make a relationship work but it is harder to let it go..."

These words come to me when I was floating around 2 days back... Later, I will be going for interview, and AGAIN, something crashed me down... Someone asked me about her, surprisely, my heart sank at the moment I saw the name... My mood is totally not in the right state again... History repeated itself... Same place of interview, Jurong Island... now I am trying very hard to compose myself... holding on to myself... but it is starting all over again... I vomitted again... body rejected food... almost so immediate...

I thought I am fine, ready... but deep within, the broken piece is still broken... very much broken, beyond repair... It actually almost healed after 2 yrs but crushed again 1 week back... take years to overcome but only take a moment to bring it down... how hurtful... how terrible... how awful... Especially in such moment when I have to act strong but I am not... I am struggling right now, this particular moment when I am typing these words...

I felt like I am choking myself with sorrows, drowning myself in tears, stuffing myself with burdens... I wanted so much to cry it out... but it had run dry... Not because I cried too much, but I am too afraid to cry... Such feelings are too much for me to bear... Way too much... too much...

Very often, when people ask me if I am okay, I always replied, "I am okay" but deep within, I know I am not... If I am, why am I feeling like this now?? I already lost the sense of feeling... everytime used another feeling to cover up my true feeling... getting very sick and tired... Tired of being strong, tired of being firm... I felt like giving up...

Saw Peifen 2 days back, asked me about my well being and came to know about my encoutered... she said that I always look cheerful, think I am managing my life quite well... Cheerful?? Do I have a choice?? I definitely sure that people around prefer me to smile than frown...haiz... can't we be simpler?

Today while working as a part time auditor, I received a call from a company to ask me to go for interview... OMG.... Jurong Island again... but this time is the other side of Jurong Island... Hmmm... coming Thursday... My adventure in Jurong Island... hahaha... ermmm, I shall leave my house 3 hrs beforehand... I don't wanna take cab in like last time...

Wrote a song yesterday... while roaming around Singapore... ermmm.... Not very nice but I like it... A product of myself... kekee... Ya, of course the person who sand this song is AWFUL!!! and POOR pronunciation... Poor Chinese... hahaha... Sorry... I don't like to sing... kekee...
_____________________________
把你忘掉
阿呆

在我眼中，你曾是我的唯一。
你的面孔，紧锁在我心中。
就这一刻，这一时，我要把你忘掉，
忘掉我们的所有。

那一天起，我再也掉不下泪。
我的伤痛，有谁能来了解？
我说不出，哭不出，我要独自奋斗，
奋斗我孤单。

爱情永远是我的弱点，负出的爱永远那么多。
你一定要珍惜，我负出的那份爱意，
最少我没有费心。

在我眼中，你曾是我的唯一。
你的面孔，紧锁在我心中。
就这一刻，这一时，我要把你忘掉，
忘掉我们的所有。
忘掉我们的所有。
_____________________________
(English Translation)

Forgotten
Ahdai

In my eyes, you were once my only.
Your beauty securely locked in my heart.
From this moment, from this time, I will have you forgotten,
Forget what we used to have.

From that day onwards, I will not shed a tear.
My pain, who will ever understand?
I shall not say, shall not cry, I’m going to fight alone,
Fighting alone with loneliness.

Romance is forever my weakest point, the love I give is forever that much.
You must treasure the love the love I gave
So that my love won’t go to waste.

In my eyes, you were once my only.
Your beauty securely locked in my heart.
From this moment, from this time, I will have you forgotten,
Forget what we used to have.
Forget what we used to have.
_____________________________

The song is located at
http://www.geocities.com/jehovah_jireh_god/ahdai-forgotten.mp3

Supposed to meet up with Violet as she thought that it would be better to meet up with her rather than roaming around outside aimlessly and get myself injured somehow… So I went down to her workplace and came to know she can only accompany me for about 1 hr or so because she was going to gym after that. Well, it’s does make any difference anyway but still I need to thanks her for giving me support… OH ya… thanks for Lane for chatting with me, listening to my sorrows and babbling till 4 am and thanks Audrey for giving me an assurance that her hotline HP is open 24/7… I am very touch… thanks! I decided to fight this problem alone, without the help of my buddies… 5 buddies and I am not going to tell anyone of them…

After Violet went for gym, I started to float around like a walking corpse, walking aimlessly which remind me of a guy which I saw on Wednesday at Bedok drinking alone and looking real stress… I looked exactly like him… The only difference is I am not drinking… walking my way to Chinatown and wanted to settle my FIRST meal of the day there… WELL, I must admit it is a food paradise and I couldn’t find a seat…walked over to Maxwell Market and AGAIN… NO SEATS! It’s alright! Managed to find some empty “cold” seats… not the usual “HOT” seats where the famous food are at… ate some food from the not so popular stall. Walk over to the bazaar and you know what? My body rejected food and drink… almost throw out everything, I wondered was it due to the heat… You know what? I almost fainted in there… Yes, in the crowd… very giddy… finally managed to get out sound and rested at the staircase and decided to go out and stop roaming like a walking corpse…

It's quite an adventure today... My first time to Jurong Island... I would say a place with beauty with many won't understand... I saw plants, pipes, towers and reactors, somehow or rather, I felt rather at home... I began to tell myself, "This is the place I wanna work"

Well, I had many misconceptions about Jurong Island... I thought it is a place with no trees and people need to cycle to travel from place to place... I'm wrong!! There are cars... not a lot but still people only travel by cycling within the plants. Yeah! I always tell people that Jurong Island is a place where birds don’t lay eggs and dogs don’t shit because there are no trees… NOW, there are some corrections… There are trees but those trees are too small for birds to lay eggs. Dogs don’t shit there, why? It is because they don’t have the pass to enter Jurong Island… The security at the checkpoint is indeed very tight…

Went there for an interview for a technician post but the interview make me feel that I am applying for manager post… interview with 4 people! That’s alright… ermmm…. 3 of them are non-Singaporean Directors of the company… I was like so stressed up… Luckily, I managed to handle them despite my problem in hand at the moment...

left the place with sorrow and tears in my eyes, not because I miss the place just that I am very unstable...

No person derserves your tears and who deserves them won't make you cry...

不知为什么我越想越辛苦和痛苦。我尝试跨过时空，清洗记忆，但是模糊的样貌依然留在我痛伤的脑海中，我痴情的心中。还以为我能轻易地把她忘掉。。。我错了，我办不到，我办不到。感觉是乎一切都结束了，一切都完毕了。我还真是怀疑自己。是比此结束呢，或是我结束了？

The sky had really fallen...
The rain had turned into tears...
The land had split apart…
The ocean had dried up...
The world had shifted...
The building had collasped...

I am really fallen...
My eyes are filled with tears...
My heart is torn apart...
My passion is dried up...
My emotion is shifted...
My mind is collasped...

Trust me, it's not end of world but just end of me....

Wanted to post this long time ago but I forgotten about it... Saw this Lost and Found Notice by the lift recently... YES, LIFT again... ermmm... but not in the lift this time round... by the lift... The picture is kinda blur BUT think u can figure out what is lost and need to be found... YA... have to be found before it entered somebody stomach...

I'm exceptionally artistic!

Fair enough. Perhaps they haven't. But now that you know, you must become one with your inner self.

Virtues: You look for immense creativity and individuality in people, including yourself. You're not happy with anything less than brilliant, and you focus on being expressive. You value energy, liveliness, and upbeat personalities, but you're not supportive of moodiness when you yourself can be unreliably moody. Seeking activity, you like the bustle of business but need the secluded atmosphere of a studio or private corner.

Aspirations: You feel the need to express your talents, whether it be through writing, drawing, singing, dancing, composing, performing, or photographing. While you strive to ever improve your work, you want to display it as soon as possible when your impatience kicks in. You want to be a prodigy but you might not have the means right at your fingertips. Trust me, do NOT move to New York to do it. Yeesh!

Quirks: Conformists bother you because of their lack of individuality. You're often late or unreliable. You're showy and refuse to share the spotlight. You only tell little white lies. You worm your way into the hearts of others, but be careful; some people despise the show-offs.

Factors: Surround yourself with activity and you'll always have material to work with. Involve friends and family in your projects so they don't feel like envious outsiders.

Future: Show business or not, you'll settle down happily if you're among those who appreciate your natural talents and desire to perform. Don't stay in one place too long, and don't be too hasty in defining your relationships. Who are you to judge what only time will tell?

Find your soul type at kelly.moranweb.com.

SURPRISE!!! A bouquet of flowers, a birthday cake, a little self made present were all for you… Flowers of innocent and purity... Cake of wishes coming true... Present of the nature... Happy Birthday, Angela… Happy birthday…

I want all my past be locked in the eternal lock of my memory bank... never be released again to confuse me... I don't want to be deceived by myself... Confused over who is who and which is which... In fact I am already losing myself or who am I?? which one is me? I'm lost... I'm lost...

Did a little gift during my free time... Nice???

I am very happy and touched... Yesterday, I went to Geeta's birthday dinner with my XTOMIC members... glad to see them... miss them so much... kekee... Aaron came to me and pass me an email to show me... It is a part time job... He is nice enough to ask me if I am interested in the job... kekee... What's next? Jocelynn also sent me an email regarding job oppununity... I was really very very touched for that moment that someone is "helping" me... THANKS... THANKS!!!!!!

Here is a little photo from the dinner...

You scored as Chemistry.

You should be a Chemistry major! As if that isnt clear enough, you are deeply passionate about Chemistry, and every single chemical reaction and concept fascinates you. Pursue that!

Sociology 83% Chemistry 83% Biology 75% Theater 75% English 75% Philosophy 67% Art 58% Psychology 58% Dance 50% Engineering 50% Anthropology 50% Linguistics 50% Journalism 42% Mathematics 25% What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3) created with QuizFarm.com

I have being wondering if I have changed... I had a good buddy which I feel that I started to detest him more and more... Am I turning more and more sensitive to his remarks or he doesn't understand me enough to make such hurting comments? Or did I take his word too personally?

This will be one of the best day of the year... what a good way to start my new year... kekee...

There are times, I felt down... The sky falls on me...
There are times, I felt alone... The world turn their back on me...
There are times, I felt lost... The road which show no signs...
There are times, I felt neglected... The world are engaged in their business...
There are times, I felt unimportant... The wave of height is moving toward me...
There are times, I felt inferior... The world have it all but none is for me...
There are times, I felt hurt... The valley of sword is below me...

There are times, I felt top of the world... But I know not when...
There are times, I felt the family love... But I know not when...
There are times, I felt found... But I know not when...
There are times, I felt cared for... But I know not when...
There are times, I felt concerned for... But I know not when...
There are times, I felt essential... But I know not when...
There are times, I felt boostful... But I know not when...
There are times, I felt loved... But I know not when...