Awaiting for rainbow after a shower.....: March 2006
Awaiting for rainbow after a shower.....
Friday, March 31, 2006
(The Terminal) Amelia: I've been waiting my whole life, I just don't know what the hell for.
(King Kong) Hayes: The beast looked upon the face of beauty. Beauty stayed his hand, and from that moment he was as one dead. (King Kong) Carl Denham: Oh, no, it wasn't the airplanes; it was beauty killed the beast. (Munich) Robert: We are supposed to be righteous. That's a beautiful thing. And we're losing it. If I lose that, that's everything. That's my soul. (Forrest Gump) Forrest Gump: My momma always said, "Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get." (Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl) Jack Sparrow: The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can't do. (The Forgotten) Dr. Jack Munce: Sometimes people go around and invent alternate lives, with imagined friends, and imagined families. (Memoirs of a Geisha) Sayuri Nitta: I am not worthless! (Memoirs of a Geisha) Chairman: Kindness we receive in our lives is not always enough. (Titanic) Jack: I'm the king of the world! (Titanic) Rose: I'll never let go. I'll never let go, Jack. (Catch Me If You Can) Frank Abagnale Sr.: Two little mice fell in a bucket of cream. The first mouse quickly gave up and drowned. The second mouse, wouldn't quit. He struggled so hard that eventually he churned that cream into butter and crawled out. Gentlemen, as of this moment, I am that second mouse. (Ocean’s Twelve) Reuben Tishkoff: I can't predict the future. I pay professionals to do that, and even they get it wrong sometimes. (The Interpreter) Silvia Broome: Vengeance is a lazy form of grief. (The Interpreter) Tobin Keller: You think that not getting caught in a lie is the same thing as telling the truth.
(Guess Who) Percy: If you're gonna marry one of these women, sometimes it's gonna hurt like hell. And all you can do is admit that you're wrong and know that she's always right. (The Last Samurai) Katsumoto: You believe a man can change his destiny? Algren: I think a man does what he can, until his destiny is revealed. (The Matrix) Morpheus: Have you ever had a dream, Neo, that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to wake from that dream? How would you know the difference between the dream world and the real world? (The Matrix) Neo: I know you're out there. I can feel you now. I know that you're afraid... you're afraid of us. You're afraid of change. I don't know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here to tell you how it's going to begin. I'm going to hang up this phone, and then I'm going to show these people what you don't want them to see. I'm going to show them a world without you. A world without rules and controls, without borders or boundaries. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you. (Saving Private Ryan) Corporal Upham: "War educates the senses, calls into action the will, perfects the physical constitution, brings men into such swift and close collision in critical moments that man measures man."
(National Treasure) Ben Gates: [paraphrasing Thomas Edison, about invention of light bulb] I didn't fail, I found 2,000 ways how not to make a light bulb; I only need to find one way to make it work.
(National Treasure) Ben Gates: Of all the ideas that became the United States, there's a line here that's at the heart of all the others. "But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and provide new Guards for their future security." (Fantastic Four) Susan Storm: [invisible] Look at me! Reed Richards: I can't.
Most children of the current society are expose to fairytales like “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs”, “Cinderalla”, “Sleeping Beauty”, “Rapunzel”, and “Little Mermaid”. These stories often involve princes and princesses, and modern versions usually have a happy ending, which always end with and they lived happily ever after.
Let’s take a look at some of the female lead in the above mentioned stories… Snow White ate the poisonous apple and fell “dead” till the handsome prince awakens her. Cinderalla lost her glass shoe at the palace’s ball and returned home when the clock hit twelve. The prince returned with the lost glass shoe looking for her. Sleeping Beauty pricked her finger and fallen asleep for 100 years till the prince come to awaken her. Rapunzel trapped in the tall tower and her beautiful singing captured a prince’s attention and came to her rescue.
There is a common feature. Women are passive. They simply waited for thing to happen. They waited for their true one to appear to them and bring them happiness. You may disagree that Cinderalla isn’t passive as she went to the ball. Yes, point taken BUT please do take note. She DESIRED to go to the ball but she didn’t make any effort. She managed to go to the ball with all thanks to Fairy Godmother. Sleeping Beauty happily slept for 100 years to wait for her true one… This is definitely passive. Rapunzel made no attempt to escape and again, the prince came to her rescue.
Through such fairy tales, more and more women, at least little girls, in the current society develop a mentality that women should be passive. Considering the point we are in the Asian society, which make women more passive as in equality gender equality in modern Asian society is pretty unbalance. Most women are treated as a “second class” employee and often subject to more humiliation as compared to men.
On the other hand, women who are pro-active in fairy tales are often the villains. Less mentioning the Fairy Godmother, as she is not really consider a human and she is pro-active to something that is not beneficial to herself. Let’s take a look at Little Mermaid… She is the only pro-active character I recalled in the fairy tales I read. She exchanged her beautiful voice in exchange for a pair of legs so that she could get near to the male lead.
There is a scary common feature in some of the famous fairy tales. Stepmothers always ill-treated their stepchildren. This may create a mentality that all stepmother are evil and scheming. This will definitely stop the enhancement of the relationship if the child have this fear in her or him.
Personal view, I truly believe in gender equality and I hope I can practise it in times to come. Women should make their stand, challenge the men, lead a group of people and have their voice be heard. We can’t just wait for things to happen. We must make thing happen. I think modern women need to be more passive active and seek for what they desire. We are no longer living in the generation which women stay at home to cook and take care of house chores. So, Women!! Stand Up!!!!
PS: These article was written for fun… no offence, guys!
On the road that continues on forever, Lots of things happen, don't they? You show your courage, but today All I can hear is your crying voice beyond the rocks.
What dreams have you chased to get where you are now, Even I have times when I don't understand, baby Whenever you're in tear, I'm by your side. Even on nights when we're apart, I'm by your side. I'm by your side...
HELP!!! It's growing within me... I can feel it... it is back... I tot I had it subdued... Perhaps I had not... Sleepless nights are back... Images are forming again... Flashbacks are in running my mind... I saw shadows, I heard sound... Perhaps I shouldn't have make that decision... All I want is just a peace of mind... Is that very hard?
(Staring at the starry sky...) Where is the rainbow??
I know I need to grow stronger! I have to overcome! I need to be confident! I can do it! I need to fight! I am what I am and I am special! No one can distort the truth that I am unique! I have to CONQUER!! CONQUER!! CONQUER MYSELF!!
Give me the hope! Give me the strength! Give me the energy! Give me the edurance! Give me the paitence! Give me the power! Give me the wisdom!
I have fallen into it... Into the trap of no return... For some reasons... I am getting more and more stress each day... I am scare... worried... I just felt like I have no one to turn to... I tried telling him (Mr LMK)... but I couldn't... I don't even know how to start... I tried telling her (Ms SVL)... but I couldn't coz I know she is also encountering many problems... I tried telling her (Ms TVL)... I held back so much... coz she mean so much in my heart and I don't want to burden her with my problems... I wanted to tell him (Mr KKN)... but I know, telling him will make no difference coz I know his reply will be "So?"... I wanted to tell him (Mr TRB)... but I couldn't reach him... I don't know... I am very tired... very tired... I asked myself, "WHY?? WHY??" Perhaps I should start isolating myself...
PS: Ce blog n'ont aucune relation avec la anterieur...
Le voyage d'autobus est de 30 minutes... J'étais avec elle... J'ai senti la douleur... à mon coeur... Elle s'asseyait près de moi... J'ai jeté un coup d'oeil sur elle des yeux et je me suis caché loin... J'ai presque pleuré... J'ai voulu pleuré mais je ne peux pas... Je me suis senti très malheureux... Très dérangé... Très douloureux... Veuillez le finir... Libérez-moi...
Wow... I can't believe friendster can be such a shocking creation to me... kekee...
Recent Shock from Friendsters:
1) Starmist is my primary school mate and she hanged around with few of my good friends and yet I don't know her. 2) Huiwen is working in same company as my good friend and I know nuts about it... 3) Desmond (someone who was with me from primary school till secondary and even till poly) got married!! (shocking? yes... perhaps we are not very close ba... hahaha) 4) Yuhui is the classmate of Mandy (not very shocking actually, hahaha) 5) OKAY, enough shock for the time being...
So, let hope friendster can do me some more favour, have being looking for someone... hahaha... Anyone who is reading this... perhaps you can help too... Especially those from HKSS... kekee...
I am currently looking for, Karen Koh... yes, from HKSS GB, class 4B... graduate in 1997... Just wanna know how's life for her? Last known fact (to me): Married and studied at SP. so.... if you happened to know such a person, please leave a message in my tagboard.... hahaha... Sorry, there will be no reward... the most a cup of coffee?? hahaha....
I don't know why?? This feeling is coming back again... Hmmmm... Perhaps I shall go out for a walk again... Just felt deprived... Deprived of something... ARHHH... I am not sure what is it??
On Tuesday, I called binz and asked him about his interview... OMG.... He got himself a job! I was so happy for him! Finally, he got a job... he told me Thursday will be his first day of job... GREAT!! This mean he don't have to slack at home and we complained to each other "SIANZ" hahaha...
On Friday, I went online as usual... saw Big Boss, Bernard, he told me that binz quit his job... I went, "WHAT??????????????" He quitted his job?? Immediately, I called binz to scold him... screamed at him... He shared with me his Job Experience (well, everytime u go for interview, u have to filled up)... 16/03/2006 0815hrs, Signed Confirmation Letter 16/03/2006 1730hrs, Submit Resignation Letter
I was like pengsanz... haiz... binz binz... good luck then... hahahaha
A few days ago, I was reading this book "Of Sound Mind" by Jean Ferris... A youngster book, I would said... ermmm YES, I am young... hahaha... It is about a hearing kid borned into a Deaf family with both parents are Deaf and having a Deaf brother...
He did a lot for the family, interpretion, taking care of the family and so on... There was this part in the book which his father had a stroke and was sent to the hospital... I was extremely angry when I read it... The doctors could figured out what his wife is trying to tell them... The hospital have no idea that the patient is deaf and assume that his unclear speech was an aftermath of the stroke attack. They do not have interpreter available in the hospital.
I started to view these again and again... How often did the public remember the people with disabilities? How friendly is Singapore? Are moving towards a society in which people around us notice our uniqueness? Why can't the society view us, the special one, as they do for other people? OR IN FACT, we are so much better than them as we overcome ourselves...
PS: This entry is written at the point when I was quite angry about the society.
Yipee... went gai gai (shopping) with Robin at Orchard... quite fun leh... so long never shop le... bright up my entired afternoon... hmmm.... binz.... if going shopping again muz tell me arh!! kekee... OR anyone reading this blog... can't find a partner to shop with? find JIM!!!! hahahahaha... ermmm... still hunger for Ben & Jerry......... Anyone is kind enough to treat Jim for a ice cream break?? kekee...
Went to watch a movie with Yuhui in the evening, ermmmm... long movie titled "Munich" by Steven Speilberg... Very interesting movie... A show about discremination on the surface but the message of this guy who once had an identity, lost it all... Have a home which he can't return coz he had no identity.... Given a chance to regain his identity, but he will lose his "identity" and home..." Too chim to understand?? Go watch it then...
I OFFICALLY declared Yuhui is my closest friend.... Closest as in a friend who stay closest to me... she stay SO near me lor... hmmm... i know who to find if I have nothing to do... hahaha
Wow... just watch the nanny show... ya, nanny... Big Momma's House 2... Well, I watched it with Yuhui... and most probably she will be reading this... So, I think I must praise her abit... (she is nice, pretty, outgoing, friendly, humourous...) hahaha... WOW... it is nice show for a weekend... simply make you laugh and laugh your burden away...
Queuing at the ATM machine...
YH: Why you ask me when is my birthday? Me: coz I like to make people happy just like Santa Claus... Giving presents to them... YH: Yah, right... Tie a ribbon on your head and give to me right? Me: Sorry hor, I am 非卖品 (not for sale) one... YH: Yah... coz worthless right? Me: (blur blur answered) Yah.... worthless... paused a moment Me: wait, worthless mean worth nothing or.... YH: haha... sorry, priceless....
I just can't help it.. and keep laughing at myself.. I am worthless... WORTHLESS.... arhhh.... hahahaha
Someone told me this, "I chose to love you in silence, for in silence I find no rejection"
I started to ponder it and doubt the credibility of this phrase… If I choose to love her in silence, does it mean a better route to me? Does that really mean I won’t get any rejection? I doubt so… and I think it is more painful and hurting being silence…
Well, I am not a person with lots of love experiences but I certain to say that it is not easy to love someone in silence… If I love her, and the little me decided not to tell her because I dare not to face the verbal rejection… I continued to love her in silence and she took notice of my love because I am such a good actor to hide all my love for her… We continued to go out as friends… I enjoyed the time together…
One day, she called me; “I found him…” My heart collapsed almost immediately… She found herself someone who she like and that someone is one of my best friend… These were not verbal rejection BUT these are emotion rejections, which hurt more… I regretted… I regretted that I shouldn’t hide my feeling for her and expressed to her when I have a chance.
I continued to choose to remain silent… Continued to go out with her and her BOYFRIEND… These make me hurt more… I wanted to cry but I can’t… I had to act extremely hard to be happy for them… You will never understand the feeling… especially when they hold hands, kissed and hugged… These made my heart more painful…
I started to reflect on my decision for loving her in silence… Did I make a right choice? What am I waiting for? Is this the outcome I am waiting for? What is the chance that we might be together? Perhaps ZERO… After the long wait, these are what I achieve? Yes, there maybe no rejection, verbal one BUT these emotion rejections kill me inside out… If I expressed my love, I guessed I would not go through all these painful moment…
PS: The story above is purely fictional…. HAHAHA….
I must blog about this coz she is such a nice lady... on msn...
(I was staring at the monitor as usual till she...) YH: u okie? YH: i can be ur listening ear Me: hey hi!!! Me: huh?? Me: wat listening?? kekee... YH: ur nick (staring at my nick "I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand...")
Hahaha... No wonder ppl misunderstood... This is just a lyrics of the song I am listening RIGHT NOW... "If You're Not the One"... kekekee... well, she is nice to ask me if I am alright even we don't know each other well... kekee... THANKS!!!
A sage spoke to me today... I told him that I was very tired, physically, mentally, emotionally... I was too tired to push on... He looked at me, passed me a cup and started pouring wine into it... It is reaching the rim and he kept on pouring till it was overflowing... I was curious... Then I questioned him... He looked at me, remained silent and brought me to the backyard. He pulled some hay from the stack and lay it all the the floor and started to burn them... The fire grew wilder and wilder... I questioned him... He looked at me, remained silent and walked to the kitchen, took out all the firewood and soaked them in the water. After soaking, he tried to raise a fire. I couldn't bear it and asked him,"Are you nuts?" How can the the fire burn when the firewoods are wet?" He stared at me and laughed... You got the answer....
I was very puzzled and decided to probe further... He started to share with me his teaching....
"The wine is just like the emotion that we have, if you don't empty the cup, how can you fill somemore wine... Likewise for emotion, do not contain it... do not attempt to let it overflow... just let your emotions flow easily...
The hays is just the energy we have, you got to control the fire before it completely burnt up the whole haystack. If the entire haystack had being burnt, you won't have enough hays to do other things. Likewise for energy, do not strain it... do not attempt to do more than what I can... just take a rest when you feel tired...
The firewoods are just like our mind power, if you don't bring the soaked firewood to the sun and dry them, they won't be able to burn... Likewise for our mind too... You asked me how can the the fire burn when the firewoods are wet? It's the same, how can your brain think when you are saturated with all other things? Learn from the firewoods, go out to the sun, refresh yourself..."
Went to the Career Fair 06 with Nora today... well nothing much... nothing really interest me that much BUT I like the Job Profiling by JobStreet.com and now make me re-consider my job option... It make me understand myself better... Understand my weakness and strength...
Have a little chat with da jie aka Nora at Coffee Beans, talking about our problems... well... talking about career, management, leadership... things and things... can't believe quiet Jim can go babbling whole day about these... kekee....
The battle of states continue… I never rest, battling and fighting against the strong warriors of the enemies. Days after days… As a commander of my great and mighty army, I shall show no sign of weariness. My footmen are strong and vigilant. My archers are alert and accurate. My knights are steady and great. I am all ready for another battle. The morale of the camp is high right now.
Little did anyone know, I am actually very tired and sick of fighting. Blood are shed, life are lost. Why can’t the peace come to us? We are subjects of state but we are human too. Since 15, I wore the armour and fight numerous battles, there were victories and we rejoiced. When we lost, we retreated and fought on the next day.
When I was 23, I returned to the capital with triumph against the neighbour state of Sofin. The king granted us to return home to prepare ourselves for the next battle against the state of Ausneu. I was all excited, I finally got to return home to see my wife-to-be. A woman who had changed my life.
I returned home to come to realize she decided to leave me. She never wanted me to fight, to be in the army. I was sad, I wanted to give up my official but I decided not. This trip home was a terrible one. Everyone returned home with smile and joy except me, face of sorrows and tears.
Whenever the king granted us permission back to our hometown, I have this fear. The fear to face her, the fear to look into her eyes, the fear to talk to her. Her presence never fails to make me feel hurt… My heart is crying but whom can I turn to? Everyone has his or her own agenda and time is short. Before I found one, I am off to the battlefield again. I wish I could stop fighting…
