Breaking down... teary eyes... Another moment of darkness in my life again... it's almost 7pm and I am still in the office... unwillingly to leave... not becuase i am working... but I am scared... Facing so much stress at work... feeling very tensed already... on top of that, going for surgury next week also give me so much stress.... not the scare at the operating theatre, but somehow, I can't dump my work aside and leave... so much of problems... work... work... work... work... work... work... BUT I am still holding on... but not for long...

With upcoming more stress coming up... I might be starting my study in July... more stress coming along.. I don't know if I can manage it well... Work stress alone is a killer... Plus study? I think I am really putting myself to the limit.. putting myself in the war zone.. AWAS... DANGER...

Money? Ever since I wash my hands off the basin of finance, i felt that I have much less money to use... not used to it... running out of cash so easily... Studying tuition fees, year end getaway trip, commitment... I start to feel the pressure... Hopefully Mr S11 won't be too much an impact to my life..

Personal life? I don't what will happen if I can't cope the above well... I am sure it will affect my personal life.. The worst have to be feared... I dunno if I can handled it well... Feeling very weak, old and tired..

7pm already.. what's stopping me from leaving? My mum... She just got admitted to the hospital.. I felt so scared... I love my mum a lot.. although I seldom show my love... but she know... I am not so prepare to go to the hospital and heard something bad from the doctors.. but nonetheless... I need to go over and find out what's wrong...

I am feeling very tired... I feel like switching off... off it and that's it... end of problems.. recharged it and returned fully charge to face all these... but no... i can't... problems is adding on and on as days passes...

*tired....

Somehow.... I guessed I did something wrong... I am feeling so guilty... haiz... so sad... still couldn't sleep... argh!!!

Best in Me
Blue

From the moment I met you I just knew you'd be mine
You touched my hand
And I knew that this was gonna be our time
I don't ever wanna lose this feeling
I don't wanna spend a moment apart

Chorus:
'Cos you bring out the best in me, like no-one else can do
That's why I'm by your side, and that's why I love you

Every day that I'm here with you
I know that it feels right
And I've just got to be near you every day and every night
And you know that we belong together
It just had to be you and me

Chorus...

And you know that we belong together, It just had to be you and me

'Cos you bring out the best in me, like no-one else can do
That's why I'm by your side
'Cos you bring out the best in me, like no-one else can do
That's why I'm by your side, and that's why I love you
'Cos you bring out the best in me, like no-one else can do
That's why I'm by your side, and that's why I love you

Declaration

I, ahdai, will be soon taking a short break from the finance world. Please do not consult me anything. Consultation will be given at a reasonable and nominal fees. hahahahaha...

Having gastric and irregular sleeping times. Loss of focus had landed me in many "accidents"... I really need a rest....

Being to school yesterday... the feeling is like... returning home... I love my days when I was still there... Hanging around "studying"... Saw all the food... remember how I dashed to the canteen to queue for food... saw the lecture halls, remember the times we created havoc in the halls... saw the study corners, remember the times when we "study" so hard... Saw the sport complex, remembered the times that we tease and have fun with each other... So much fun...

My joys, my laughters, my memories... I love you... Ngee Ann Polytechnic! I am PROUD to be a Ngee Ann Students!

Being there... and decided to get out of my comfort zone and move on... Just sign the letter of LPT... I am now a permanent staff. I think I will bear with all the nonsenses for at least another 3 yrs. I need time to slowly move on... I think this place is "cool" enuff...

I am thankful to have shine with me and support me... kekee... thanks... need your support! kekee... hopefully I can make it thru... Haven't being in best of mood these few days... a lot things bothering me... but I am sure I can handle them well... No matter what, life gonna move on!

Ying, thanks for your advices. I know you might not like my decision, but I decided to choose my path, this is the path I wanna go. I am sorry if I disappoint you. Nonetheless, I believe you will be there to support me, right? BTW... headhunt me in the future... not now... HAHAHAHA...

Tough journey to come... I am all gear up... all ready... GO!

Your Interpersonal Intelligence Score: 68%

Your Interpersonal Intelligence is High You are definitely a "people person." You enjoy spending time with others. You instinctively understand people, and you are both a good counsellor and mediator. However, there are definitely times when you've had enough. And that's when you cherish being alone.

How Does Your Interpersonal Intelligence Rate?

Spot the differences

Just for laughs

Sweet Dream??

I saw a rainbow right in front of me... It was so beautiful. It's beyond description. How I wish to own it. I tried to step on it... HEY, I was walking on the rainbow!!! I ran and ran.... I saw the mountain, the sea, the forest... EVERYTHING!! I felt like on top of the world.. SO happy wor... I decided to pace to the other side of the rainbow... It seems like an endless journey... Nonetheless, I guess I finally reached... Path made of gold (why do I felt like Wizard of Oz, hmmmm)... Trees everywhere... with fruits of great red heart shapes.

So fantasy wor... but it so nice... I walked on my favourite rainbow... so beautiful... haiz... but in real life I know... Rainbow will only appear after a shower.... haiz...

Awaiting for rainbow after a shower...

Wow... Before I knew it... It's being 2 months le... hmmmm... So fast... kekee... I wondered if she remember... kekee...

It's only a short while and I miss her... why? haiz... I can't explain too...

OMG... it's 4th May... FRIDAY!!! Weekend!! happy happy happy.... lalalalalala

OMG.... A super big sianz.... I think due to my recent skipping of meal... my gastric problem is back... argh... pain and dizzy...

Trying so hard to sleep... Took medication... It doesn't seems to work so well...

Why am I hiding? I recalled one of my teacher said... "The best thing about us, human, we are emotional being... and we (as actors) need this emotion spirit within... The feeling in you, let's it flow, don't contain it. Let it flow freely"

I never know how to contain my emotion well.. Coz it is in me... It's simply flow out of me.. it's me... (a very typical taurus) It's always very obvious to tell if I am happy or sad... shine never fail to detect and tried her best to cheer me up... Thanks shine...

Ying reminded me just now, we need to meet the basic need of the 5 components of a human being, Physical, Mental, Emotional, Social and Spiritual... only with all 5, I will feel whole. (I wondered)

Yes, felt rotten, felt invisible, felt as thin as smoke, felt helpless, felt lousy. I really wondered if I am to leave tomorrow, will there be a difference? Perhaps no one will notice. I really dunno... I really dunno... I guessed nothing gonna change....

You're Always There For Me

You are the light that brightens up the day
You comfort me - that lightens up my way
You are the strength that keeps me strong
Your love, it keeps me safe and warm
You are my hero, cos
You're always there for me

I do not fear the dark that hides the day
Or when I feel that life has gone astray
You are the shelter from the storm
Your, it keeps me safe and warm
Through thick and thin, I know
You're always there for me

And I believe we're meant to be
This is our destiny
I do believe our love will see
Through all eternity

You are the hope that keeps me in a smile
You give me faith - that makes it all worthwhile
You are the song that makes me sing
You fly the rainbow on its strings
All of my days, I'm sure,
You're always there for me

And I believe we're meant to be
This is our destiny
I do believe our love will see
Through all eternity

You are the hope that keeps me in a smile
You give me faith - that makes it all worthwhile
You are the song that makes me sing
You fly the rainbow on its strings
All of my days, I'm sure,
You're always there for me

You are the song that makes me sing
You fly the rainbow on its strings
All of my days, I'm sure,
You're always there for me

Once again... I have that feeling again... I felt kinda hurt... wanted to shed my misery out... but I can't... Somehow.. I really doubt my existence... I really wondered did you ever spare a thought for me? Do you ever care how I feel?

I know, you have your choice! BUT I have my rights too... I have my rights to be unhappy.. I know I can't stop you... And I guess you know I won't be happy too... BUT have ever thought of how me comfort me? Don't you know I am very easily satisfied?

*locked behind the door, crying...*

Quit Breaking My Heart
Mandy Moore

You were my first slow dance
Thought that we had a chance
But together was too hard for you
Hanging out with your friends
And my expectance sees all I need is for you to be true
I know you care
But it's just not there
When you're not around I want you there
And you need to stop breaking my heart

Quit breaking my heart
It's tearing apart
All I need is for you to be true
Quit breaking my heart
It's tearing us apart
Baby, quit breaking my heart

Baby I don't feel this way about anyone
Something about you, boy
Nothing seems to be quite like this
Holding your hand
Touching my face
Standing here, waiting for our first kiss
I know you care
But it's just not there
When you're not around I want you there
And you need to stop breaking my heart

Quit breaking my heart
It's tearing apart
All I need is for you to be true
Quit breaking my heart
It's tearing us apart
Baby, quit breaking my heart

Quit breaking my heart
I know you care
But it's just not there
When you're not around I want you there
You need to stop
You need to stop breaking my heart
Baby, quit breaking my heart

Quit breaking my heart
It's tearing apart
All I need is for you to be true
Quit breaking my heart
It's tearing us apart
Baby, quit breaking my heart

Breaking My Heart
MLTR

I'm on the floor
counting one minute more
Noone to break the silence

Staring into the night
all alone but that's alright
It's the feeling deep inside I don't like

Chorus:
There is no excuse my friend
for breaking my heart
breaking my heart again
This is where our journey ends
Your breaking my heart again

Here in my bed
counting the words you've said
They linger in the shadows

Coming home late at night
drunk again but that's alright
It's the look in your eyes I don't like

Chorus:
There is no excuse my friend
for breaking my heart
breaking my heart again..