Awaiting for rainbow after a shower.....: June 2005
Awaiting for rainbow after a shower.....
Thursday, June 30, 2005
What went wrong with me??? I reached home today at about 6pm, I opened the door as usual... the house seem unusally quiet... No one is at home! Yes, it is normal but I dunno why I was so freaked up.... I searched the whole house and was very surprised that my brother was also not at home... What had happen?? My brother end his lesson at 3 plus.... and no one is at home... I immediately called my mummy and ask.... "Where are you? I am so scare!!" hahaha.... like a small kid... I was actually still unable to get myself out of the "Life is so fragile" condition... I thought something happened to my mummy.... Luckily, mummy went for medical appointment.... MUMMY, you should tell me... so that I can accompany you.... haiz... weekend is here and I am still not in a weekend mood....
I can't believe my ears and eyes!!! One of my colleagues husband just died yesterday from a fatal accident... I was actually totally affected by it and sort of unable to work... Her husband is only 39... so young... and she have 3 kids and all of them are still so young... I did not go for the wake and funeral... I know I will sure cry... I am VERY sure!! Life is very fragile!! I still remember I saw them last week at Taman Jurong... Happy Family... but now... one woman have to bring up 3 kids!! I dunno why I am so sad and daze... We aren't close colleagues but I can totally feel the pain, the struggle she is facing.... I am now.... wiping my tears off my cheek....
Wow... Fantastic performance by the Stroj meaning the Machine from Solvenia... Yes! It mark the end of the Singapore Arts Festival with loads of fireworks and good performance... Well... I must say, as compared to 24 June one... Perhaps I am sitting in front bah... well... I am so tired... MONDAY BLUE!!! arh!!!!
I miss those times..... I miss those times when I was still in NP... Just came back home from a BBQ at Changi Aloha.... kinda ulu... hahaha.... My poly classmate, Jasmine, organised this small, little gathering for my class... So nice of her... Have a very lengthy and memorable talk, making us sounded so old.... talking about our old times, taling about our future, studies, works... Hmmmm... Let me recall who were there... Jasmine, Winnie, Audrey, Kris, Andrew, Alvin and ME!!!
One thing that really sort of shock me is Meiling is getting married soon... OOOOOOOOOH.... how fortunate.... haiz.... Where is my "The One"? Where is my princess? Where is my Rainbow?
"Jurong West st 65, thank you", that is the sentence that I will usually tell cabby if I wanna go home.... Just now I took a cab at 2355hrs... I know it is going to be midnight charge soon... I was still hesitating whether to take City Cab or the others... but I decided to flag any cab that come along.... many Comforts cabs just zoom by me... hoping to catch me later... after 12 midnight... One friendly cabby stopped and there I go... On my way home sweet home.... Little did I know, this friendly uncle is a SUPER safety driver and was driving about 55 to 60 km/h on AYE which speed limit is 90 km/h... I felt like I just got on to a coach... a slowcoach.... I told myself, perhaps he is a very careful driver... I shall not blame him for this... WOAH, the minute the meter start reading the midnight charges, he started to accelerate to 110 to 120 km/h... I was like ermmmmm..... well.... I can't really blame him for this... he is just trying to earn his living... Luckily, I am in good mood, otherwise I will start grumbling and complaining to my friends.... hahahahaha.....
I wondered is it just me or what... I am always contradicting myself... Today, ah neh did not report to base on time... he did not report his status... I immediately reported his absence to my officer and my officer asked me to call his house to double check if he is still asleep before raising the absentee report... YES.... He was still asleep.... in fact I woke him up... OMG, it was 0840hrs already and he just woke up?? okie, I instructed him to report to base immediately!! I reported his status back to my officer, and she decided that she is going to give him 7 extras...
My officer also asked me to monitor his movement, eg. what time he report back to base? what time he is not around? I could easily help him by covering him but I did not.... I reported the actual fact that he reported back at 1020hrs, and he was not around from 1350 hrs to 1500 hrs... I even told my officer that he might be sleeping... That might actually bring him lot of troubles.... He might get even more than 7 extras... I just can't tolerate his attitude... He was actually sleeping during office hours and I know about it.... I reported it.... Am I wrong??
I asked ah neh to see the officer regarding the 7 extras, I plead for his leniency... I ask my officer to give him 5 instead of 7.... after some talking and scolding... My officer finally reduced the punishment to 3 extras....
WHY??? WHY??? Why am I always so eager to pin down offender, and wanted so much that they are duly punish BUT at the same time.... I wanted so much to plead for leniency, hoping that he will change.... contradicting myself... HAIZ.........
"ermmmm.... CBS..... ermmmm.... no no.... DBS....." OMG.... I was so tensed while interpreting for Lily Goh just now... I was like having a mental blockage somewhere in my brain... look like I have to calm myself down... I must not be so excited!!! CALM DOWN!~!~!~!
I just can't have enough of the Drumming Explosion.... I went to the Drumming Explosion again... YES, AGAIN.... I just simply love it.... And tonight, we have Malaysia's Hands Percussion Team, Tribal Tide, The Percussion Assembly and my favourite Australian trio Circle of Rhythm..... the beats, the rhythms, the energies that the open field concert brought me.... OMG.... "Mummy, I want to see them again" I heard a voice from afar... a little cute boy who is so excited about it.... YES!!! Please have them here again... Right here at Boon Lay Open Field.... hahaha.... near my house.....
the sad thing is I missed the performance by Circle of Rhythm..... HAIZ.... Lily told me that it is very very good! BUT the happy thing is I bought their CD!!!! got them to autograph for me!! had close contact and talk to them while interpreting for Lily... I love Ben.... He look so ermmm... handsome... so outgoing... so friendly... kinda cute....
I sat right in front of the stage... on the floor... saw the Malaysia's Hands Percussion Team's performance again... I noticed fury balls of ENERGY flowing around the drummers... I can feel the energy as well.... very good music for refreshing your boby and soul... lane lane and Rozy left early and you gals miss all the great fun in that finale.... looking at the audiences joining in the party... I believe the performers certainly feel very happy... sense of achievement....
Next week, there is a 3 days long closing ceremony from 24 June to 26 June at the Boon Lay Open Field again.... SHIOK!!! another performance coming down to my house! and I heard that they going to have The Stroj from Slovenia to bring us fantastic performance.... Industrial parts transform into musical tools and man and machine fuse into one to create an out-of-this-world aural odyssey. I can't wait to 24 June.... I wanna watch!!!!
Woah!!! Just got back home from a BUSY Saturday!!! On my way home, I saw the Drumming Explosion.... WoooooooooooH!!!!!!!!! Very Shiok!!! Very Nice!!! Very Energetic!!!! I simply fall in love with all the drumming and purcussion... it is beyond words!! Especially the finale that we have Malaysia's Hands Percussion Team, Circle of Rhythm, Kada Ba Kada Boom! and Rhythm Masala on stage together, when the East meet the West feeling.... I am practically refresh after a busy day... I love that Circle of Rhythm with these 3 handsome guys from Australia... Ben Walsh, Bobby Singh and Greg Sheehan... They are so professional and ermmmm.... aiyoh... dunno how to describe... I am just SO amazed!! They perform a fusion of different kind of music... I think I gonna buy their CD...
Hmmmm.... Tomorrow night is the last night of Drumming Explosion..... Arrrrh, I wanna go and see!!!! Can't get the rhythm out of my head........... My head is really dancing!!!!
You left me alone, left me to fight the war alone... The wind blow harshly, the rain pour without warning, the night freeze without mercy.... I am scare, very scare... I often hid in a corner and cried... I wish for nothing much but just a little care and concern you often show to that little white rose in your room... Yes, I am jealous.. and very jealous! I simply wanna show you how I can bring much joy to you too... but I clearly know, you had never like me... I can never replace that white rose in your heart... All I can do is wait... wait for that day to come.... I know I do not have beautiful petals like him, I know I do not have nice fragrance like him, I know I do not have that perfect stem to suppport... BUT I know what I have... I have beautiful thorns to protect you, I have this strong will and life to survive thru all hardship, just like my love for you....
Do you have any idea how tired I am? I am totally drained... Rainbow!! Please talk to me... encourage me... support me... Come and embrace me.... I need the love that ONLY you can shower on me... I need the care and attention that ONLY you can give... I can hardly move on... Rainbow!!!! Empower me!! Strengthen me!!
Too tired to continue... too exhausted to take the next step...
Chat with mikki for a long time just now... little did I know that he is so terrified of needles... OMG... I can't believe my ears... He said he was scared of needles not because of the pain but just simply scare of it.... hmmmm.... I muz start thinking what I am scare of......SO Mikki.... if you are naughty next time, I will bring my accupuncture set to poke poke poke you... hahahaha....
Ah neh reported sick today AGAIN...It will be a matter of time that I will be sick and tired of his punks... should I continue to guide him?? I am getting kinda tired liao... I asked him to be in the office tomorrow, try not to report sick, he said, "okie.... confirm be around..." but how many times he had lied to me? I hate to recall...
I am very tired... felt kinda sick... eating less and less... I am getting more and more lethargic each passing day... I just wanna rest... have a day to myself... have a day to relax and freed my thoughts... Wanted to take leave but looking at my colleagues who is going to have a short MC next week for wisdom tooth extraction... Looking at Ah neh, he is always playing punks, don't know when is he around.... reporting sick now and then... I am terribly disappointed with him... I hate myself believing him times after times that he told me that he will change... BUT till this very moment, I still believe he is a capable guy, and I really hope he can change, learned to work hard... put his words into actions...
this I really must agree with Andy, he asked me to start to think more about myself rather than others... Be self-centered... am I too selfless?? wat is wrong to spare a thought for others?? what is wrong with the motto "Before Self"..... Andy asked me, "Do I live for myself or others?" I am really puzzled... aren't we born into this world to help each other as one can't survive alone... Aren't we supposed to engage in one and other and help to motivate one and other? Am I very naive?? I believe everyone is able to change to a better person... I am giving chances after chances, believing people lies after lies.... I am getting very tired and terrible...
I have a feeling that my mental is breaking down soon... soon..... soon..... why am I putting a false front?? tears at my eyes......
I saw you that day at Orchard on 11 June and I noticed that you have divorced with him after 8 years and 4 months... and the divorce ceremony is witnessed by Dr Loh (recalled that he was one who brought you 2 together and witnessed the marriage), anyway, Congratulation!! Finally... You break free... break free from all restriction and you can eat all you want... Don't worry that much, you still look as nice as before.... in fact you look much better now...
I know you hurt a lot when you decided to leave him... I understand all that physical and mental pain you are going thru... It is just beyond our limit... Just move on, we have to keep on moving... I know the suffering you went thru, all the blood you lost for him... but just remember... it is all worth it... I also understand the hole he burn in your pocket, the fee you pay for the divorce... but Violet... this had to be done... and I am glad that you have done so... Yes, I know you are feeling weird, a feeling of sudden lonliness... but PLEASE don't miss him... remember the time how he hurt you?? SO be happy and move on....
Lastly, I must say... CONGRATULATION ON YOUR REMOVAL OF BRACES AFTER 8 YRS & 4 MTHS...... HAHAHAHAHA!!
Sick... getting very sick.... I had a fainting spell this afternoon during my lesson... hmmm... wondering who cast a spell on me... kekee... I was feeling like ermmm... going to faint and vomit any moment... guess it is the weather bah... keep my fingers crossed... went dinner with lane lane and rozy... actually, I don't really feel like eating... but never mind... and yes... dreamy Jim is dazing in the air again... lane.. rozy... sorry if you find a sore in your eyes... hahaha.... anyway, I am not bored lah... just felt very "unJim" today... kekee.... Oops... an overseas call...
Today I felt so lost and stranded... haiz... why am I so unlucky this week... today I have training for the National Pledge Mass Signing Training... BORED... I am not schedule with anyone I know.. so bored.. went SADeaf alone... left the place alone... attended the class alone... but kinda exciting while signing the song and the pledge...
The training is over... left SADeaf and keep calling my frds... IDIOTS!! none of them pick up my calls... haiz... left alone walking at the Mountbatten road... trying to get someone out for dinner or shopping... BUT.... haiz... no one responded or picked up my call.. does my name look infectious to them?? Arrrh!!! after MANY MANY attempts, finally, Antz pick up my call... and he told me that he will get back to me soon... idiot... waited at Parkmall Dome Café... enjoying my Ice Mocha and brownies... NO ONE SEEM TO CONTACT ME!!! Lost and stranded again... Poor lonely Jim....
Lane lane told me about a performance at Malay Heritage Centre... hmmm.... so I just made my way there and take a look... Hmmmm... I don't really understand malay language...bin bin... you should be here to interpret for me man.... since u know malay...anyway I really enjoy that finale... I love that guy who is playing the violin... WOW... Violin in malay dance... and I can tell you it is fantastic!!! I love the Finale... the dance is so nice.. so modern... simply love it...
After the show at 11 plus... call all my frds and buddies again... none picked up again... one of them watching movie... another went out for a class gathering.. so... I am lost and stranded again... ALL BY MYSELF..... that is very unusual... coz they will usually call me at and ask me wanna go out or watever... haiz... I AM SO MAD!!!
Thanks lane lane... thanks for lonbang me home... but I still insist to pay for my part coz I doubt u can claim that lump sum of cab fee... at least lane lane don't let me feel so lost and stranded by lonbang me home... GUYS!! Please... please don't let the poor lonely Jimmy boy be alone again... he is very scared.... hahahahaha... Oops... time for shower...
Dreadful week and the unlucky day... today, I saw the Best Airman Selection folder and my name is not in there... I was initially nominated by one of my officer... I went read thru the requirement and I noticed, I am not eligible for it due to some reasons... Of course, I am sad... but nonetheless, it mean I am free from worries... worrying what question is commander to ask me or facing the panel of officerSS... hahahaha....
In the late morning, I went Detention Barrack to fetch a serviceman who went DB due to AWOL... I entered a room called Reception Room... ermmmm, the room "look" FANTASTIC... hahaha.... few miserable chairs, magazines of 5 to 8 years ago... the best part is a reception counter which is so dusty and without a receptionist... what a service... hahahaha... waited hours for the release...
That's not all... while going home from base... it was close to 1800hrs, time for flag lowering... my dear colleague, ah-neh, who don't want to join in the flag lowering ceremony, asked me to dash to the maingate before that stupid whistle sounded... I declined initially but he zoom off like a car, stepping up the accelerator... I was chasing after him... just imagine... an open carpark, with almost no cars and movement, 2 idiots running, JUST to skip the ceremony.... IDIOT!~!~!~!~! Ah-neh, I will not do that again!!! hahahaha
As usual, we board that snail bus back to Boon Lay Interchange, can't believe the bus actually breakdown at the Lim Chu Kang Cementary... "our second home..." I teased him... "ah neh, you reach home liao... quickly go and bathe and go for your date... don't be late..." hahaha... waited for another snail bus to fetch all the stranded... haiz... I told ah neh, " we should have join in the ceremony, slowly walk out and take the comfy bus instead of 2 idiots running for the gate as if we are running 2.4.... and yet we are still back home late.... hahaha... so moral of the story is don't run but be loyal.... and we should start investing in our future "home".... we both laughed.....
This is the longest week.... This week past as if it is crawling, worse still, wriggling... the 24 hrs seem so long... Practically, I dragged my heavy feet to work everyday... haiz.... perhaps into ORD mood already... hmmmm... hate that feeling... felt so lost... dunno what should I do after I ord....
My eyes are opened wide... staring at the white and lonely ceiling... looking dead and cold... but the heart is beating, the breathe is still warm... every beat remind me of you, every breathe bring hope to me... your image fill my mind, your presence fill the room... I wanted to shout up your name and cried for you... but I can't... I can't... I saw your shadow outside my door... I tried to move out of the bed and pulled you in... but the door seems so far... I wanna tell you how much I need you... how much you mean to me... but your shadow walked away... You are my energy, my strength, my reason to live... to live...
My mummy is sick... I am kinda worried... she cough and cough... I felt so helpless and lost... and a bit scared.... I love my mummy and yes... perhaps I am a guy that don't really express too much on the feeling... but my mummy know I love her... care for her... unlike my brother just sit in front of the computer and play games... hahahaha... maybe he is still young... sometimes I really wanna just give my mummy a hug... but I think my mummy might be thinking, "today my son take wrong medicine??"
MUMMY.... GET WELL... I LOVE YOU!!!!! *tears dripping on keyboard*
Why are there so many songs about rainbows And what's on the other side? Rainbows are visions, but only illusions, And rainbows have nothing to hide. So we've been told and some choose to believe it I know they're wrong, wait and see. Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection, The lovers, the dreamers and me.
Who said that every wish would be heard and answered When wished on the morning star? Somebody thought of that, and someone believed it, And look what it's done so far. What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing And what do we think we might see? Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection, The lovers, the dreamers, and me.
All of us under its spell, We know that it's probably magic...
... Have you been half asleep? And have you heard voices? I've heard them calling my name. ... Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors? The voice might be one and the same I've heard it too many times to ignore it It's something that I'm s'posed to be... Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection, The lovers, the dreamers, and me.
Laa, da daa dee da daa daa, La laa la la laa dee daa doo...
"I like to move it, move it... I like to move it, move it...." YEAH... Just bought that "can't get that catchy music out of brain" soundtrack....
That song is spinning in my head... OMG!!!! I like to move it, move it.... He like to move it, move it.... She like to move it, move it.... You like to MOVE IT!!
"ALEX the LION!!!!" Yes.. I watched the Madagascar, (MA-DA-GA-SCAR, don't get your tongue twisted) kekekee.... if you ask me again, is it a nice show??? I will repeat my answer again... not really nice... but if you wanna some laughs after your work, this is just the right show to catch.... just like that Kungfu something starring Stephen Chow.... no need to crack your head.... just WATCH!!! YES... I like those cute little penguins.... "Just smile and wave... keep on waving...."
Yup... watch the show with lane lane and zar.... yes... first time watching together... Oops... hands tired already... I think that's all folk.... and yes.... ying-er arh... where are u arh?? not in Singapore again arh?? give me a call, email or whatever if you see this....
had a very good chat with Kenneth last night... we poured out our feeling and just talk... how long?? ermmm... not that "long"... 3 hours on my hp... (my poor hp is so hot...) hahahahahaha.... and I don't have any free incoming... BUT never mind lah, it is such a rare time that we chat that much and talked some of our deepest secrets... oops... SHHHH!!! No comments.... kekeee... What really bother me now is what am I going to do after my NS??? we are still wondering.....
Just recieved an email in the office that all SAF/MINDEF personnel have 20% or 50% discount off the PCK Musical... wah.... very interesting... but the 50% off show fall on Sunday and I have Sign Language class that day.... what should I do???
Went thru the esplanade webby and saw a cute musical... "Dim Sum Dollies – Singapore's Most Wanted!" This look cute... with my favourite actress, Selena Tan.... I wanna watch... hmmmm... muz start looking for people to watch with me liao... *wondering if I can get cheaper ticket from Steven...*
The 2 free GV movies vouchers will not go to waste... hahaha.... manage to get lane lane to watch with me... "Monster in Law"... lane lane... if you read this, just wanna tell you that I really don't mind watch "Madagascar" the second time...
Went dinner with Daniel.. one of my ORD frd... he is having such a good life man... working at Warner Music as sound engineer... get to travel quite often... also get LOTS of shifts work too... I am very sad to hear that his pretty japanese gf pass away due to an car accident in Japan.... talk for long hours at KFC...
HEY... I have 2 free GV movie vouchers which end on 6 June and I still yet to find anyone to watch with as yet.... hmmmm.... who can I ask....
