Awaiting for rainbow after a shower.....: March 2007
Awaiting for rainbow after a shower.....
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
I didn't actually believe I made it... Being so cheerful, joyful at work and yeah.... having nightmares and problems at homes...
Being greatly affected, I didn't know what I had done... I dunno and I simply broke down and cry... and yes... cry as in having the river of misery flowing out from the windows of my soul... I started to fear... I decided to lock myself within the room... FEAR...
I dunno why I felt the fear... I dunno why I have this fear... everything which is so unreal turn so real and nothing seems too real...
Just came back home from D&D...wasn't in a very sound state of mind... not because of the alcohol... the flashing light make me felt so dizzy... for some reasons, this Jim was taken a back to his own world... someone who is so sociable (as most ppl claimed) and used to attend lot of functions, felt anti-social for tonight... *struggling to climb out of the hole...
The fear of the the people around... walking here and there... the fear of the sound of toasting the wine... suddenly, i felt drifted apart... scary.......
MUST be the stupid flashing light, flashing all over... hahaha... dunno why... i got easily affected by flashing lights these few days... I was by the roadside last night and a car with high beam went past me and I went dazed and stood there for a few good seconds... lucky I am not crossing the road...
gathered my thoughts after the dinner and went to have a Expresso double shot... and it is useless... I still feeling dazy and sleepy... haiz.... In fact, I'm falling asleep now... Oops... need to take medication... *dragging my feet to the kitchen now....
These are the rules: Each player of this game starts out by giving 6 weird things about themselves. People who get tagged need to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rules clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. After you do that, leave them each a comment letting them know you tagged them and to read your blog! 1) I always talk to myself and have imaginary friends (boring la... no one to talk to... hahaha...) 2) I am very afraid of gals... So scare till I don't dare to touch them or hold their hands (except girlfriend la) I will blush like a red crab after that... 3) I can drink EXTRA strong coffee and yet go to sleep without any problem... (funny right? In fact I felt more sleepy after taking expresso double or triple shots) 4) I like to take pictures but I don't have much pictures of myself... (I am super camera shy) 5) I have very poor memory but I tend to remember dates extremely well... 6) I like to cook but I only cook for my love one... so if you have ate something I cooked, you are one of the privileged one... hahaha
Hurt again... and it could be worse... I shouldn't have... hate it so much... going thru all over again... I wanted to cry out but the pain have numb my feeling...I kinda forget how to cry BUT yet my heart is so heavy and it flooding out... tears once shed may shed again... why do I land myself in such torture again...
Haiz... I am feeling so tired and busy this week... till I felt like giving up.. and there's barely any time to do my own stuffs... As the day which MAY change my life totally draw nearer and nearer, the intensity, fear, excitment is getting higher and higher... That's go the same for stress... haiz...
Pretty happy that a lot of people kinda miss me wor... HAHAHA... especially Jiawen... I don't know I make so much of impact in some many people life... HAHAHAHA...
From the grave of dead, it raises again. Here to give light to see in the night. A star high above, be my guide. Lead me back to the garden of eden. Shower me with all your love. Because of all these, I can rest assure. Promise and trust I will give. For these we will be in union. Tears and misery will be over.
something just happened... and I am feeling kinda shock, and confused... kinda scared... also kinda happy... haiz.... now kinda stoned... arh! how, how, how?? haiz...
